“Banks are an almost irresistible attraction for that element of our society which seeks unearned money.” - J. Edgar Hoover

“I have never yet heard of a murderer who was not afraid of a ghost.” - John Philpot Curran

·         The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison,” and he said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

      ·         A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

·         “He had delusions of adequacy.” - Walter Kerr

·         “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill

·         “A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” - Winston Churchill

·         “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

·         “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

·         “Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

·         “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” - Moses Hadas

·         “He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” - Abraham Lincoln

·         “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” - Mark Twain

·         “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” - Oscar Wilde

·         “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

·         “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” - Winston Churchill, in response.

·         “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” - Stephen Bishop

·         “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” - John Bright

·         “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb

·         “He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.” - Samuel Johnson

·         “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” - Paul Keating

·         “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.” - Jack E. Leonard

·         “He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.” - Robert Redford

·         “They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.” - Thomas Brackett Reed

·         “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” - Charles, Count Talleyrand

·         “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” - Forrest Tucker

·         “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” - Mark Twain

·         “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” - Mae West

·         “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde

·         “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support
rather than illumination.” - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

·         “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” - Billy Wilder

·         “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” - Groucho Marx

Two of my favorite subjects, mysterys and metaphysics. Those these days the metaphysics is getting top billing. That’s another reason to love the word ‘mystery’ - it can mean so many things. And everything is better when it’s mixed with humour. Thank you Steven Wright; you are one of the funniest!

“I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”

- Steven Wright

Thanks to the Canadian / Associated Press for continuing to bring us these juicy bits of ineptness from around the world. Who said all news was serious? Unfortunately it is listed under ‘diversions’ most of the time, but media reality is subjective in any case as this quote so wittily states:

“Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. ” Ben Hecht

But back to the story …

German robber nabbed after leaving behind telltale DNA on salami chunk

Published: Thursday, January 31, 2008 | 10:26 AM ET

Canadian Press: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

BERLIN - German police have charged a robbery suspect after matching his DNA to that found on a piece of salami spat out at a crime scene.

The bitten-off chunk of the telltale sausage was discovered at a building that had been broken in to in the southern city of Darmstadt in April.

Police say the 37-year-old man was taken into custody in early January after police ran his name through their computers at a highway spot-check and found he was wanted for several other crimes.

Once in custody, he was linked to the Darmstadt break-and-enter through the DNA sample on the salami and charged.

But it seems the rejected meat was not the robber’s only slip up: he has been charged with a total of 19 break-ins after other links were found.

The man, whose name was not released, remains in custody while police investigate.

“The mystery form is like gymnastic equipment: you can grasp hold of it and show off what you can do.”  - Mickey Friedman

The above quote is what makes mystery writing so fun! If a writer is adept then they can take the reader along on a tandem ride - like gymnastics for the technical expertise and like jumping off a mountaintop with a trained paraglider for the thrill.

One of the most enjoyable movies ever! Starring Bill Pulman and Ben Stiller. Truly a fantastic way to spend two hours. Richard Stark, one of the writers,  is a pseudonym for that master mystery writer Donald E Westlake - who can do no wrong as far as I am concerned. Alternately a dark or delightful read depending on which series you are devouring:

“Passion is the enemy of precision. Forget the nysnomer crime of passion. All crime is passionate. It is passion that moves the criminal to act, that disrupts the static inertia of morality. The client’s passion for this dead woman had facilitated his downfall. And the blackmailers passion would facilitate hers. When you live with no passion at all other people’s passions come into glaring relief.”

- Richard Stark & Jake Kasdan The Zero Effect

“At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.” Emo Phillips

I think this blog should be called the ‘unblog’ because, so far, I have no interest in writing about the process of writing, reading or solving mysteries. No doubt that will change in the future but for now I am content to pass on pearls of wisdom for other, worthy, writers.

 “Nobody reads a mystery to get to the middle. They read it to get to the end. If it’s a letdown, they won’t buy anymore. The first page sells that book. The last page sells your next book.”
  - Mickey Spillane

“Every murder turns on a bright hot light, and a lot of people… have to walk out of the shadows.”